Cycle Review - Day 3 - Friday

Oxford - Winchester 73miles

7.00am: Wake Up - room is very smelly.

7.20am: Much indecision over breakfast - a couple of croissants are produced for the GDP of Botswana, but overall it is thought a more suitable shop should be passed in Oxford.

7:51am: Hit the Road - keeness personified.

8.02am: The road into Oxford is cycle-isous with a nice bus/cycle lane in a fetching red.

8.04am: This means the pace quickly becomes, frankly, obscene.

8.08am: Luckily the centre of Oxford brings this to a shuddering halt.

8.11am: The Isis, sadly not of the Nottingham variety (It'a a bit early), is reached, presenting us with the above photo.

8.20am: We're into the leafy suburbs now - luckily a signpost tells us we're heading more towards Rich's home town than Andy's, so a quick skirt round southern Oxford, passing the mini factory, and we're out into the open

8.45am: Good progress is being made - 10 miles covered. After all, it's only 50-odd miles to cover today, so things are going well.

9.07am: A dash of rain - no disaster. Hill that would have seemed Alpine on the first day, but not so bad after yesterday is conquered, and a nice downhill

9.16am: The Peleton is forging on, though the winds make things difficult for Steve and his back pack.

9.28am: Slight wrong turning, but the leaf soon has us back on track down some nice lanes, after a communal watering of a local ditch.

9.42am: Some PlaneSpotting for Rich as we near RAF somehwereorother.

9.50am: Today's first landmark is Didcot Power Station. Not a patch on Ratcliffe.

9.54am: Bigger hill now, on a busy road too.

10.02am: This road is very undulating, thoughts are turning to food and a rest. We never did find a shop! It is decided to stop at Goring which is only 6 miles away.

10.12am: Probably the most unudlating 6 miles yet, not helped by the crosswinds in the midst of this farmland. Some trains past on the Great Western Main Line to help pass the time

10.23am: The village sign for Goring is passed. A well-earned break.

10.30am: If it had actually signalled the start of the town that is, another couple of climbs later we cross the railway into the village. It's clear that the demons in Steve's back pack are getting control over his bike...

10.40am: Refuel with drinks and Cake. Nice. Greenleaf studies map. The drops bombshell of the highest quality. 'Miscalcualtion' or words to that effect. the expected 50 miles is more like 70. Though we have covered 30, there is a big debate on options. Rich and Leon just happy to cover to timetabled 50-odd, Martin and Andy keen to crack on like whippets down a trouser leg, Matt is Matt and happy as long as Faulty stays non-eponymous, but this leaves Steve is an awkward position. Reading and home is but a 6 minute train ride away.The map is studied. Get out clauses ahead are prepared, just in case, but after much discussion Steve decides to hop off, rucksack and all, and get the train home. He will meet us for the last part, by driving to where ever we are in the afternoon. A sad moment for the Ironman group. But the rucksack - what is in it to cause such distress? Anyway Steve's off home and we're off towards Newbury and Winchester. He looks a relieved man...

10.51am: Which is just as well as barely 400 yards further on, the 'Col du Goring' is reached, very unexpectedly. Greenleaf incredibly, dismounts first, and we don't know how far we are up this beast, as its wooded and bendy. It turns out to be quite long. Martin screams about a lack of gears before dismounting, Machine decides not to risk Faulty with so long to go, Leon eventually dismounts after realising Andy is walking faster than him, with half the effort, and looking back down the mountain Rich must have dismounted.

10.52am: But No! Crawling through the clouds, like a sloath from a inferno, he pedals, on and up, conquering the beast to claim the first King of The Mountains points of the day. Impressive stuff.

10.55am: No severe downhill to compensate.

11.11am; A hedge trimmer is encountered, blocking the road. Shockingly, typing this now even more so, Martin and Andy venture between the trimmer and the vehicle!! Hardcore, but perhaps foolish!

11.26am: This is England. Rolling countryside, hedgerows and hillsides.

11.34am: And the M4. Noisy carcophony of noise.

11.44am: All signs point to Newbury, ever since Goring, and all say 7 or 8. Ever get the impression you're not going anywhere?

11.49am: But this sign is more fun. 'Ford' in one direction. Not a ford in the other. The Ford is chosen as the way forward, with baited breath.

11.52am: The ford is reached, looks relatively deep, so the bridge is used to cross, and a quick photo stop, where Martin discovers the days first puncture. Whilst our mechanical engineer gets to work, Martin is very keen to ride the shopping bike through the ford, but it is decided that this is worthy only of a drinking fine later on, the cheeky chappy. Phone Steve, nicely tucking into a 3 course lunch in front of a log fire, to explain delay. Only we're aren;t really delayed, we were going quite fast.

12.01pm: Greenleaf warns of altitude ahead after looking at the map at the ford, but we don't get there cos Captain Calamity has another puncture. Now in inner tube debt to Andy.

12.08pm: Second climb of the day, as steep, but not as long as the first, Gaunt again has a lack of gears apparently, as Baptiste claims the Polka Dot Points with an agressive early surge, though is nearly pipped by the Leaf on a late charge.

12.25pm: Lovely bit of country, this, and we're pack up to peleton speed.

12.37pm: Fantastic downhill stretch to the A4. Good test for the brakes at the bottom.

12.40pm: Right turn

12.43pm: Should have been a left turn. Turn around.

12.45pm: Leon nearly run into by a juggernaut of Dutch origin. Edge of the seat stuff for those behind.

12.49pm: Held up by a Class 165 at Mortimer station.

13.08pm: Join a fairly major road, which immediately hurtles downhill like an alpine ski slope. The five of us all break the speed limit by a fair margin, Machine runs wide but holds on to his trusty steed, Rich performs his now regular party trick of using his tribars to great effect and cruising by during the later stages of the descent.

13.20pm: The climb back to whatever height we were at is long and gradual, but clearly uphill for several miles. Great work by the peleton in motoring along and really making progress. I would figure we feel like proper cyclists for a bit.

13.30pm: Still climbing

13.46pm: Off the main road now, but some ominous looking land ahead, the horizon looks very high!

14.02pm: Big hill is sighted ahead. There is a notable easing of the pace at la tete de la course.

14.04pm: With the King of the Mountains up for grabs, Foster decides it is time for a kamikaze raid on said hill and forges off into the distance.

14.07pm: Makes good progress at first, but discovers Gaunt is not the only one who can run out of gears. Leaf soon on his tail.

14.09pm: Almost at top, but theres a comotion as some car passes.

14.10pm: Turns out this is our forgotten man, Steve, come to rescue us! We pull in to lay-by thankful as Steve takes a photo and nearly gets run over.

14.12pm: The team is keen to push on once more, and so we'll meet Steve in the next town, where he'll rejoin. It's only a few miles, and Steve has just driven it in his car. So what's it like Steve? 'Don't worry, it's all downhill'

14.24pm: All downhill? Someone else for a drinking fine.

14.26pm: Clearly Woonton did not realise driving it one way is not the same as the other way.

14.40pm: Arrive at town. Quick rest stop. But Greenleaf confirms its only another 10 miles, so spirits stay high. Though this is another town with a big hill on departure.

14.47pm: Off again, and Leon is out the back of the peleton fairly swiftly.

14.49pm: Much astonishment as it is realised Steve still clings to the demon backpack. It's established there are two pairs of jeans in this bag, for some unknown reason, and a nickname is born...

14.59pm: This 10 miles is not being backed up but the signage.

15.04pm: The rain is here, and the gloaming is closing.

15.08pm: Truely awaful weather now, but with most of the journey done, it feels ever more hardcore.

15.16pm: The pace is being pushed at the front, Andy drops back to check on Leon, but Steve appears to be producing a good finish and Rich as usual, is in contention.

15.24pm: Another 6 miles. Very open land here, and we're getting very wet.

15.30pm: The rumour has been going round, that there is a very big hill right near the House of Greenleaf, and this could be playing on some peoples minds.

15.40pm: Baptiste rejoins, Machine is worried that Faulty won't make it, Steve is worried his jeans might be wet, everyone is fully adrenulinised and ready for the finish

15.45pm: Houses. This must be it.

15.47pm: It's very murky. Very apt.

15.49pm: A left turn and this is it. L'alp Kings Worty. Immediate group gear downshift, and down to five as Leon is rendered useless by lack of gearage - Rich ploughs up to secure the Kings of the Mountains title, just behind Andy, backed by a home crowd of one man and his dog wasn't going to be beaten. Steve takes his jeans to a new altitude high, Martin cruises up in conversation to fool no-one and Machine takes the first gaffa taped cycle to the summit of one of the classic climbs of Britain.

15.50pm: Just the 800m to the finish, and it's eyeball out, but in a relaxed sort of way.

15.51pm: Handshakes all round as the job is done and the finish is reached.
15.51½pm: Leon rolls in, having been stopped partially by a lollipop man he ignored.

16.00pm and after: A summary
There was much concern that the lash may not be up the usual high standards due to the fatigue involved over the last 3 days. Well, we do set the bar high. But once more the bar was reached. After a drink and a lovely bit of cake from Mrs Greenleaf, there was a bit of a lull as we got ready for the lash. A lovely bit of cottage pie, was followed by a couple of beers and some hearts while Machine recharged his batteries. We then ventured into Winchester and possibly the hottest pub on the planet, but it had some very good ales. Then onto Wetherspoons for some hilarous fines and drinking games, with many, many vodka red bulls consumed. On to another pub, where all I will say is 'I am the Walrus'. In fact the night had animal written all over it, from our drinking exploits, to the croccadile shoes that led to a very amusing discussion with the bouncers, then a leopard and a bit of a gorilla ambush to round things off...

Day In Summary

Quotes:
'This Must Be the Top' - various
'Downhill to Overton, all the Way' S.Woonton
'55 miles' Greenleaf
'10 miles' Again, the master of mileage
Lash Quotes
'No not Bullseye, play that darts game'
'Cash Machine'
'Dave Smith' 'Who?' 'The Famous Footballer'
'Happy Shopper'

High Points:
3 HST's passing at once.
Steve rejoining

Low Points:
Allowing Steve to leave
Martin not being allowed to cycle through ford

King of the Mountains: Davies
Hill of the week: Col du Goring

Mechanical Troubles: Gaunt x 2 punctures
Machine - total failure at the end
Machine is rebootable.

Things we learnt:
Machine is an undercover road traffic officer
Don't rely on Machines

Day summed up:
Dash, Splash, hearts then lash.

Overall Ironman Thoughts

Leaf: 66 miles = piece of cake
Gaunt: 'Jeanius'
Steve: 'The cycling might be tough'
Leon: 112 miles = 2 pieces of cake.